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02 December 2010

Space: The Financial Frontier

I’m sure we’re all reading tweets about the possible existence of life on Rhea, one of Saturn’s moons. Naysayers are already pointing out that the density of oxygen on Rhea isn’t high enough to support life, or that it’s way too cold for life to flourish there. Nothing but negativity, and I can’t stand it. Small minds, doomed to small successes.

Let’s face it – the real story here is that there could be life on Rhea. If there is, and they’re intelligent, Earth just got a hell of a lot more exciting to be on. Up until now, everything we humans made was designed for us: humans. But just imagine the challenge of trying to create something with a non-Earth lifeform in mind. Now every time we launch a product or a business venture, we’ll have to ask ourselves, “Is the Rhean user going to be interested?” It could change every single industry.

-The film studios begin to ask themselves, “Do Rheans, as a people, go to see romantic comedies, or are they more of an action flick crowd? What kind of gross will we see from an Adam Sandler comedy on Rhea?”

-Fashion gurus now have to stop and wonder, “Do Rheans care more about a sexy fall look, or something that will ultimately protect them from the Rhean low temperature of -220 degrees Celsius?”

-Ad agencies must pose the question, “How do we sell an idea to a people who not only don’t speak our language, but have no hearing organs due to the risk of internal exposure to cold that comes with having an auditory canal?”

No doubt there’ll be a lot of exciting networking opportunities out there as well. This, of course, assumes that life on Rhea is intelligent. If it isn’t, I’ve already got a couple of former NASA R&D guys already hard at work on a way to get some more O2 in there, jack up the temperature a little bit, and turn it into a vacation destination. We can get one of those ice hotels they do in Scandinavia up there, make it a luxury thing, and boom, Virgin Planetary’s trying to buy us out inside of five years. And this is just off the top of my head, Jediphiles! As they say, the sky’s the limit.

Jed


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